How do you talk to people?

[Unavailable]

Sorry for the dumb question. In short, I have anxiety and I rarely start conversations. I'm a shut-in person and I hate talking to people IRL.

MC-M is one of the places where I'm comfortable talking to others online since I feel sort of accepted here. I want to be engaged in the shoutbox/chat and all of the convos, but I'm afraid I'm going to be rejected or ignored.

How do you talk to people? How do you engage in conversations? How do you stay connected? How do you know you feel comfortable with someone?
P.S. I do have an IRL partner, we chat & call everyday but I want to talk to more people online.

 

[solo]

1 word: meme

 

[Ally]

1 word: meme

That's 3 words.

 

[solo]

That's 3 words.

i only see one 'word'!

 

[Kellers]

"lol"

 

[Matty]

Hmmm, the thing you want to do is to just join in with the conversation. Most people genuinely won't care. For example; the other day there was a mini-debate about children working and protective parents that don't allow it under any circumstance. I guarantee you that if you joined in with the conversation no one would mind - people would prefer it assuming you'd pick at least a single person's side from the debate.

Anyways, who cares what others say. A majority of the time the most toxic players are the least favored. People will enjoy talking with you for sure

 

[KOMKO190]

Personally, I love speaking with other people, both online and in real life. Of course, when you first meet someone it's kind of difficult, but I'm working on it.
I'd be more than happy to give you tips, but they may not all work for you, but I found them to work on myself.

Meeting someone.
This counts when you do not know a person and you two are just getting to know each other.
Please, avoid questions that are not open-ended and that do not engage into a deeper conversation.
What do I mean? Take a look at the example(s):
Let's give a scenario where you're talking to a person (girl/guy, doesn't matter) that comes from Beijing.
You wouldn't ask: Did you like it there?; instead, you'd use a more open-ended question: How did you like it in Beijing?
I found this to work a lot, because while they talk about where they come from, or if they are answering an open-ended question IN MOST SCENARIOS I was able to get some other themes to talk about with the person.
There were never any awkward silences because of the open-ended questions.
Many people will actually guide you towards their interests, which could help you in a way that you know what you two will talk about.

Don't care if people find you annoying or anything like that.
This may be a bit harder for some people, but you need to understand that you won't be able to be good with everyone, sometimes people are gonna find you annoying and other things which is perfectly fine.
You are going to meet other people that won't think such things about you and will actually engage in conversation because they like it.


If you want to talk to more people online just go to Discord (any other platform works fine, I find it best to use Discord) and join a server that suits your interests.
Want to talk about hardware? Find a server about hardware.
Maybe gaming? There's ton of it too.
Anime? Holy smokes, you couldn't think how much servers there are.
Join the server and talk with people. First chat, get to know other members and then engage in conversation. Don't be afraid that you will appear as dumb or stupid or even annoying.
At the end, start joining VCs, talk with people. Engage in events (if any) and meet people.

 

[Ambrosia]

This really applies online but don't really care what others think of you. A lot of them will be greasy keyboard warriors, and then you'll also have the chill people. Obviously, this doesn't equate to IRL, but it's just what I do when going online.

 

[Zero]

I'll try to give you a qualified answer:
First of all I'd like to recommend you the book 'How to win friends and influence people' by Dale Carnegie. The book is over 70 years old, however it still portraits exactly how to successfully have conversations. Secondly, you totally don't have to force yourself to talk to people if it makes you uncomfortable, some people just prefer to be in a calm environment, in fact its even natural. I'm not to sure whether the following things are problematic for you, however I'd like to state them anyways:

• Don't care what others think about you. You might be insecure due to your conscious mind questioning whether you're making a good impression, the truth is, the things you likely care about aren't even noticed by the second party of the conversation.
• If you're truly introvert I'd recommend you to slowly start to increase your interactions with others. Just take little steps. If you're even uncomfortable with talking to others - hop in a call with someone online, possibly a friend, and start a conversation. The more interactions you have with others the more confident you'll become. I had a similar issue that almost everyone faces: speaking in front of people. I used to be incredibly nervous before presentations and especially during presentations I used to mess up many facts and made mistakes - however, it wasn't even necessary to be nervous, talk slowly, keep calm and have a clear mind. If you rush yourself you'll automatically make mistakes.
• Another tip: Ask yourself why you are uncomfortable when talking to others and try to find a solution for it. The principle is quite simple, you start with a question like 'What makes me uncomfortable?' and slowly start to dig deeper into it till you find the answer. When you find an answer like 'I'm uncomfortable because of ...' ask yourself how you can avoid this feeling or situation.
• Last point: Communication is practice. Nobody was born being a great speaker or communicator, its a skill, more even a habit. If you constantly train your communication skills by doing research, talking to others and actually doing the things you are afraid of these very things will become common to you. Just start. Dive into conversations and actively try to search contact with people.

I'm not too sure whether this helped you, but this surely is the advice I would give anyone who comes to me asking the same question. If you need help with anything feel free to open a conversation on mc-market and I'll be happy to assist you.

Kind regards,
Zero

 

[VactumPlays]

BECOME RICH ASF
Literally just be so rich that people will wanna talk to you.
Perhaps mumble a few words once in a while, and you'll fit right in.
​

 

[Unavailable]

Thank you so much for the great (and funny) responses solo Baby Choncc Kellers Matty KOMKO190 Ambrosia Zero VactumPlays!