I definitely agree.
Dependant on how you look at abortion, to whether in cases its towards your own favor. If you were a mother, raped, a visible bump of pregnancy, knowing your own tragedy of an experience you've witnessed through your own helpless eyes would you take care of the child you've...
I'd say you're edit is perfectly fine.
you've proven the cars speed through its sound, maybe if anything exaggerated slightly more personally, although besides while the car pulls in for the stop, all is well
There's always room for improvement, i'd say take each comment and into consideration...
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