Anxiety help

[Julie]

So recently I've been speaking with this girl and we're now dating and what not.

She's been going through a really rough time with her family and a whole heap of issues have been coming up, one is her grandfather in a continuing battle with cancer.

She has just recently told me that she gets anxiety at night and it full like freaks her out and she becomes really upset. IVA been speaking with her 10+ hours a day just to ensure that she is ok, but every time she hangs up of a night to go to sleep she begins to cry because of her anxiety and I don't know any ways to help her.

But I hadn't spoken to her yesterday, we were texting though, but because I didn't hear her voice I wasn't sure how she was doing, so I stayed up all night to make sure she slept alright and didn't wake up upset because of her anxiety

I really need some help, I don't want her to begin to spiral down into a deep hole and lose her.

remibarna you always have interesting opinions and thoughts on stuff like this, please help

 

[MisfitNerd]

It sounds like she needs to see a therapist and get on some medication ASAP. Talking isn't easy but it's the first step to dealing with anxiety and feeling better.

 

[Julie]

It sounds like she needs to see a therapist and get on some medication ASAP. Talking isn't easy but it's the first step to dealing with anxiety and feeling better.

Thanks for the input, much lay appreciated

 

[MisfitNerd]

Thanks for the input, much lay appreciated

No problem. I too deal with some anxiety, but it's way better when on my medication.

 

[dawn]

I've personally been dealing with anxiety for a very, very long time now. Sometimes, there's not really much that you can do. However, there are things that you can do to help.

Now, although you may seem that you should step in and help as soon as possible, that's not always the case. Sometimes, you just want to give them some space. I'm not saying that you shouldn't do anything, you should still be checking up on her and doing all that stuff, that's something great to do, however, if she needs space, give it to her. On the other hand, try to find ways in which you can cheer her up! Find fun things that you can do through the day, and then talk about during the night to distract her from that. If you can, try sleeping over or hanging out with her late through the night to talk to her and just spend time with her to once again, distract or just overall help her personally and physically while you're there.

As an extra addition, she may be interested in an app called Talk Life. I've personally used it in the past, and it's proved pretty useful to me previously. To explain it in short: It's an app that lets you connect with people who are having or had the same problems as you. It's also an app for people if you just want to help. It's amazing the support that you can get and really helps if you need to talk to someone or don't just want to talk to one person. This especially helps as it's online. No information will be shared, along with the fact that no one judges as most on there have the same issues as the person does.

Finally, something that I would suggest for anyone that you love.

Be. A. Good. Friend. - Be the best possible person you can to her, don't do anything but try helping. If she needs space, give it to her, give her love as much as possible and do everything you can.

Things like this happen in life all the time, try distracting her from it and do as much as you can and things will get better

 

[Daxanater]

Human interaction will best sooth her current state. All you can do right now is be by her side and continue to support her if she's down. Of course giving her space should be considered.

But as you said, you don't want to lose her nor you want her to dwell down into the deep caverns of depression. I can't tell you that theres a specific method to get rid of her current state. But as I said all you can do is be the one that holds her up when she feels down.

I don't know you as well as her but personally I know it's in your best interests to be by her side. Continue what you're doing bud, it's gonna be a hell of a fight and many rides of melancholy but I'll suggest to you that if you can be the best person you can ever be to her. It'll get better for sure.

You seem like a good person, I hope you can take what everyone said and draw out conclusions and make them into solutions.

I wish your girlfriend to get better and as well yourself, it wont be easy but it's life. You'll be okay along the way. :tup:

 

[Julie]

Personally, I think space and rest is what every human needs when it comes to them being hurt.

But it sounds more like a depression to me. I can't speak much since I'm not someone who ever gets depressed or talk to a lot of depressed people. Maybe I have when I was a kid in middle school cause I guess I stuck my nose into people's business when I shouldn't be there? But I did want to help.

This depends on how you feel as an individual. Sometimes we get worried over more then we should.

Recently my dad got a heart attack about 2-3 weeks ago at a gym due to high cholesterol. He's a very healthy man and has a 6 pack, strong muscles and always eats healthy and rarely touched sugar. He got high cholesterol due to genetics from his family.

It was pretty shocking when I got a phone call from the hospital hearing about that and after visiting and waiting in the waiting room for an hour he was in a comba. That following day I just stayed calm and picked up his car from the gym and his bags and wallet to make sure nothing was stolen and did some paper work for the hospital.

I was able to sleep for a rough 2-4 hours and left the house to visit the hospital at 4 AM and around 6 AM he was awake and fine. He suffered a heart attack (obviously that's what high cholesterol does) and he needed open heart surgery. He's currently out of surgery it was successful and he's back on his feet.

But in all honestly I was never really scared cause I knew he would be okay. And you just have to be confident and think positive into certain aspects. Life can be a bitch and make you over react in certain moments.

So to answer your question, maybe FaceTime her or use skype if you don't own an iPhone and if it starts to get to you and make you sad / depressed try just texting and relaxing because at the end everything will have a solution to the problem you just have to stay calm and get through it.

I'm sorry about what happened to your father, you always have real good inputs on these types of threads[DOUBLEPOST=1499234900][/DOUBLEPOST]

I've personally been dealing with anxiety for a very, very long time now. Sometimes, there's not really much that you can do. However, there are things that you can do to help.

Now, although you may seem that you should step in and help as soon as possible, that's not always the case. Sometimes, you just want to give them some space. I'm not saying that you shouldn't do anything, you should still be checking up on her and doing all that stuff, that's something great to do, however, if she needs space, give it to her. On the other hand, try to find ways in which you can cheer her up! Find fun things that you can do through the day, and then talk about during the night to distract her from that. If you can, try sleeping over or hanging out with her late through the night to talk to her and just spend time with her to once again, distract or just overall help her personally and physically while you're there.

As an extra addition, she may be interested in an app called Talk Life. I've personally used it in the past, and it's proved pretty useful to me previously. To explain it in short: It's an app that lets you connect with people who are having or had the same problems as you. It's also an app for people if you just want to help. It's amazing the support that you can get and really helps if you need to talk to someone or don't just want to talk to one person. This especially helps as it's online. No information will be shared, along with the fact that no one judges as most on there have the same issues as the person does.

Finally, something that I would suggest for anyone that you love.

Be. A. Good. Friend. - Be the best possible person you can to her, don't do anything but try helping. If she needs space, give it to her, give her love as much as possible and do everything you can.

Things like this happen in life all the time, try distracting her from it and do as much as you can and things will get better

Thank you so much for your input, I'll look into that app for her, whenever we do talk my main focus is to distract her from what's really happening.[DOUBLEPOST=1499235131][/DOUBLEPOST]

Human interaction will best sooth her current state. All you can do right now is be by her side and continue to support her if she's down. Of course giving her space should be considered.

But as you said, you don't want to lose her nor you want her to dwell down into the deep caverns of depression. I can't tell you that theres a specific method to get rid of her current state. But as I said all you can do is be the one that holds her up when she feels down.

I don't know you as well as her but personally I know it's in your best interests to be by her side. Continue what you're doing bud, it's gonna be a hell of a fight and many rides of melancholy but I'll suggest to you that if you can be the best person you can ever be to her. It'll get better for sure.

You seem like a good person, I hope you can take what everyone said and draw out conclusions and make them into solutions.

I wish your girlfriend to get better and as well yourself, it wont be easy but it's life. You'll be okay along the way. :tup:

Thank you so much, everyone's inputs are so appreciated. I'm willing to put everything into her, it makes me feel even better when I said to her if suicide does come into mind please tell me, she replied with "nothing is too hard to get through, it just takes time"

 

[3l0Ofd8QrqJ]

Hello,

I want to give you a warning regarding this that her anxiety and problems could potentially rub off on you if you dedicate a lot of time to her. Of course if you love her then it's the right thing to do but in advance I suggest you just be wary of the fact that you can develop similar feelings because of the way you interact with her.

Good luck with what you're going through all I can suggest is you be the strong one for her.

Alfie

 

[Julie]

Hello,

I want to give you a warning regarding this that her anxiety and problems could potentially rub off on you if you dedicate a lot of time to her. Of course if you love her then it's the right thing to do but in advance I suggest you just be wary of the fact that you can develop similar feelings because of the way you interact with her.

Good luck with what you're going through all I can suggest is you be the strong one for her.

Alfie

Thanks heaps dude, we were both going through the same situation before we met. I've been dealing with the issue for 3 years now, I've learnt to accept it is life and we must move on, but I will for sure continue to stand for her.

 

[Speuce]

I'm speaking from a perspective of having seen & dealt with close friends/family go through horrendous anxiety/depression.

I have a couple points to contribute. Take them as you wish.

a) I've noticed that the two best ways to heal anything for a human being is space and time. Give her a bit of space if she needs it, try and not worry yourself with the idea that you will lose her if you're not constantly there. You won't.

b) Try and encourage her to develop healthy habits. If she isn't getting much sleep, or isn't eating as much as she should be, try and ensure that she is doing what is healthy for herself.

c) Keep yourself healthy. Focus on yourself sometimes.

d) Know that with time, it will pass. Even if it seems like it keeps spiralling down, for months, even years on end. It will get better, eventually.

e) Know that she loves you for sticking with her in these trying times. Know that you're making a difference for her.

 

[Julie]

I'm speaking from a perspective of having seen & dealt with close friends/family go through horrendous anxiety/depression.

I have a couple points to contribute. Take them as you wish.

a) I've noticed that the two best ways to heal anything for a human being is space and time. Give her a bit of space if she needs it, try and not worry yourself with the idea that you will lose her if you're not constantly there. You won't.

b) Try and encourage her to develop healthy habits. If she isn't getting much sleep, or isn't eating as much as she should be, try and ensure that she is doing what is healthy for herself.

c) Keep yourself healthy. Focus on yourself sometimes.

d) Know that with time, it will pass. Even if it seems like it keeps spiralling down, for months, even years on end. It will get better, eventually.

e) Know that she loves you for sticking with her in these trying times. Know that you're making a difference for her.

Thanks heaps my dude, I'll definitely keep these in mind