Family Issues

[kag]

Anyone have any tips on what to do if your family continuously calls you a disappointment and calls you selfish when you call out their own mistakes. for an example I'm going into eleventh grade and I was picking my courses and my mom was talking about me taking AP History or world history even though its my worst subject and I barely made it through with a B- last year and I said that I'm no good at history and she said the only reason I almost failed was because of these things called DBQ's and I only started doing good because she helped me (which is false its because I asked other teachers to check and help me with it) so I told her that and she said no that the only part that was wrong was mine and then I said that my part had the fewest marks on it (errors) and then she called me selfish and that its disappointing how I can't accept help. Another example In middle school my teacher asked me for a missing assignment in front of my friends and my dad took it very personal and told me IN THE CAR WITH MY FRIENDS that when I grow up Ill be lucky if I can clean the streets, and on top of that my older sister gets all the attention she gets kudos for driving down the street or scoring a point in a tennis match while if I score a goal in a soccer match they simply clap and talk more about my sister on the way home another example my sister got a job and my parents congratulated her for the whole weekend with presents and what not that were better then my birthday presents in my opinion, my parents said nice job when I made my own business and made my first 1,000 in a week... Anyone have any tips or pointers on what to do with this Ive tried many things and cried many times alone I know many secrets about my family like how my sister isn't a virgin and not as goody tooshoos as my parents think how my dads cheating on my mom and numerous things about my mom. Help would be appreciated I might take this thread down soon. Thanks for reading this if you got this far.

I know it's late but I am back again, so once more everything was fine actually I only got yelled at sometimes me and my dog kind of isolated ourselves from the family unless need be we socialize of course I hung out with my friends got good grades (not talking about chemistry) but about 2 weeks ago I was setting the alarm for me to wake up and take out my dog and my dad walks in sees me on my phone demands me to give him the phone I paid for and I say yes, because I am living in his house. He then continues to yell at me for 2-5 minutes about how he could trust me and all that, not listening to my side of the story. The next day my sister calls us from college saying she can come down for Thanksgiving break and she did yesterday. Also yesterday I was trying to do some schoolwork and ask for tips from MrsPrime who might I add actually did give me some good tips, when I look at the clock and see its 1 AM so I head up but before I do say goodnight to everyone and then go up the stairs, so every day I make sure I have a goal of what I want to do and so today I wanted to learn about orbital diagrams more for chemistry, so I looked up orbital diagrams on my computer opened my notebook started writing and my dad comes in once again and now hes really mad, he completely ignores the fact that I am on a science website (sciencing.com) and starts yelling at me once again takes the computer I ALSO PAID FOR and goes downstairs but before he does on his way out I can hear him muttering "I can't believe I raised someone like this" and "When he grows up I hope mcdonalds sees potential in him" and leaves the room and is going to close the door from the oustide when he peaks in and says "I'm so dissapointed that you are my son, we will take about this tomorrow" (or today) so today has come around and he is at work. Just wanted to rant on the forums, thanks for listening have a good one.

I decided to add this comment so its just a mega thread.



PS Sorry for any grammar mistakes I'm not in the best mood right now.

-Hunter

 

[kag]

I know it's late but I am back again, so once more everything was fine actually I only got yelled at sometimes me and my dog kind of isolated ourselves from the family unless need be we socialize of course I hung out with my friends got good grades (not talking about chemistry) but about 2 weeks ago I was setting the alarm for me to wake up and take out my dog and my dad walks in sees me on my phone demands me to give him the phone I paid for and I say yes, because I am living in his house. He then continues to yell at me for 2-5 minutes about how he could trust me and all that, not listening to my side of the story. The next day my sister calls us from college saying she can come down for Thanksgiving break and she did yesterday. Also yesterday I was trying to do some schoolwork and ask for tips from MrsPrime who might I add actually did give me some good tips, when I look at the clock and see its 1 AM so I head up but before I do say goodnight to everyone and then go up the stairs, so every day I make sure I have a goal of what I want to do and so today I wanted to learn about orbital diagrams more for chemistry, so I looked up orbital diagrams on my computer opened my notebook started writing and my dad comes in once again and now hes really mad, he completely ignores the fact that I am on a science website (sciencing.com) and starts yelling at me once again takes the computer I ALSO PAID FOR and goes downstairs but before he does on his way out I can hear him muttering "I can't believe I raised someone like this" and "When he grows up I hope mcdonalds sees potential in him" and leaves the room and is going to close the door from the oustide when he peaks in and says "I'm so dissapointed that you are my son, we will take about this tomorrow" (or today) so today has come around and he is at work. Just wanted to rant on the forums, thanks for listening have a good one.



P.S (sorry if there is any spelling mistakes)

 

[kag]

They have now put up monitor applications to see where I spend my time.

 

[xx]

How old are you?

 

[Ellie]

Jesus that sounds awful... It kind of sounds like your parents try to live too much through their kids if they have such high expectations for you both but only in a specific way.
If i were you I'd just keep doing what you're doing and prove yourself in the way you want to be able to. Until you have to leave home or want to you have more ability to look into startups, short courses in whatever you are interested in to forward yourself and a career you actually want to do... It's super sad if they cant appreciate what you do outside of school though, my parents took a while to understand and they went from incredibly against to very support.

Until that happened i had a second phone when i was 14-16 to prevent tracking and locking me out of my own tech that i paid for, maybe that'll give you more freedom if they get more restrictive as long as you are incredibly careful about being caught.
You could also get a secondary bank account to transfer funds into so they cant take anything you have earned without permission if you're ever worried about it.

Wish you luck though bud.

 

[NurdehMC]

I've gone through hard stuff such as depression, and the feeling that I don't belong. I've gone through relationship problems which led me down paths that I would've never seen me in. I've helped deal with my brother's problems, he is diagnosed with Autism and ADHD, and sometimes he just lays on the stairs and tells himself that his life is worthless and that he won't get anywhere. It's definitely scary when you feel unloved, depressed, or just feel like no one is going through what you are.

Wish you the best of luck!

I just want to share a couple of "thoughts" if you will:

Spoiler: My Thoughts

One of my leaders from the church that I go to used to work up in a ski place up in the mountains. While he was up there tutoring skiers and such, he noticed a reoccurring pattern in how they messed up skiing through trees. These people focused on the trees and wiped out because of their focus on these trees. He said if they just focused on the openings in between those trees, they'd go through the course just fine.

These trees are the obstacles in our lives, they are the hardships that bring us down, they are the problems and issues that are in our lives. The fact is, to get through our lives, we can't look at these "trees", because they distract on what we should be focused on. We need to look for the "openings" for comfort. Look for the small and simple things in your life that make it greater than anyone else's. Look for the lighter side of the dark tunnel.

"If someone has made you feel as though you are the problem in his or her life, it is vital that you remove this destructive label from your self-image. You are never the problem; you may, however, have problems that hurt the people around you. But as long as you believe that you are the problem, you will be stuck in a ditch of defeat." - Dr. Robert Watts Jr.

My second thought comes from the following video:



I just wanted to say that even though you may be in the ditch and wanting to give up, you will grow out of these problems and look back on them. If you solve these problems, you will be more proud of solving those hardships than getting a million dollars. There's only one way to look, and that is the opposite to the wall. The only way that you will get anywhere is if you look out of the dark hole, out of the dark tunnel.

I am sorry if none of this makes any sense or in anyway is offensive, I was just pouring out my thoughts on this matter and these problems. If you need any help with anything, I'd be down to talk. Also, I have an A in Chemistry Honors and I'd be glad to help you.