$25 Amazon Gift Card

[Clouse]

Thread Title
$25 Amazon Gift Card

Prize name
$25 Amazon Gift Card

Requirements and other relevant information
Read the first two chapters of my book and review it. The review must be two sentences minimum.

End date
Mar 31, 2019

If award date is different from contest end date, please specify.
Apr 2, 2019

 

[Clouse]

Spoiler: Chapter One

"Hey! Mom Me and Jason are going to meet at the gaming cafe... Is that okay with you?" Max told his mother hoping for his desired answer while grabbing money out of his dirty jean pockets.



The response came back instantly with the only answer, I mean THE ONLY answer he didn't want to hear.



"Yeah Go ahead but make sure to bring your little sister okay?" His mother said as his face went as white as a sheet.



"RUN" He quickly yelled to his friend while slamming the door behind him as he ran out the front door. But he didn't get far before the monster suddenly appeared in front of his face from nowhere.

He saw the worst thing imaginable the thing that has been haunting him for the last fourteen years.

His little sister Ruby...



"Hey, Jason..... Are you ready to hang out?" Ruby instantly says while having a face full of makeup and dressed rather nicely. She slowly moves past me and draws closer to my friend.



"Ruby... Seriously we are going to play United Online and you don't even play MMORPGs (1) and honestly, I doubt that you have even played a VRMMORPG (2)" Max Says while pushing his sister away from his reserved friend. "Plus this game is brand new and apparently 400 Million people are expected for launch"



United Online was made over 11 years by Tessa Corporations and was miles ahead of anything else that was made during the same time period. The game incorporated every single aspect of real life including a system that you could experience all of the five senses with whatever percentage of real life you could want but everything could range from 15%-100% of real life adaptability for your senses in order to make people cherish their lives and have them not make stupid choices based off of the idea that you could die over and over.



The game also has a wicked death program that if you die in the game you get death banned for one day unless you are a non-combatant class. However, with the pain that you experience, they forced all players to be 13 or older.



"Max you are probably just scared that I am going to beat you aga-" She boldly states while Max instantly covers her mouth "Don't ever talk about that again" He quickly states as he hears a burst of stifled laughter from Jason...



"I mean man just let her come with us she is obviously way better then you are" Jason blatantly stated. Max stared at him with a state of disbelief then simply started walking to the gaming cafe.



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



"Union Online do you dare to be the BEST?" The speaker blared as they got closer to the gaming cafe in which the whole entire room was packed and incredibly loud. There was a distinct line at two counters with one for picking up the microchip and one for buying the microchip in order to play.



The gang quickly got in the order line and waited for almost three hours while messing around on their phones. The quickly got to the front of the line and asked for three basic kits and filled out the waiver forms that were required for the chips and then went in the checkout line.



The room was silent in anticipation for the new game that they could play that night. The gang quickly left and ran home anticipating a wonderful night while they were still sleeping.



Max and Ruby went inside their own home as their friend Jason's mom pulled up in a brand new luxury suv while talking of course looking quite frustrated. Jason pulled away after adding a quick smirk in Max's general direction.



The gang was set up to meet in a village called Grindor when the game launched and would meet with some of their friends over the years. They all anticipated the night and inserted their microchips into their sleep goggles that the goverment issued a long time ago in anticipation for this game. They all fell asleep after taking some sleep medicine which was not recommended to do but who cares?



"Welcome to United Online!" Their dreams instantly showed as they stepped into a grand room.



__________________________________________________________________________________________________

1- MMORPG an online role-playing video game in which a very large number of people participate simultaneously.

2- VRMMORP a virtual reality version of a MMORPG

Spoiler: Chapter Two

Max stepped into the grand room and noticed how many big the room that he was standing in. The room felt massive as if he could stand here for days and never get bored with eye-catching art pieces and sculptures but he was here for a reason and couldn't mess around anymore. He noticed that there were massive banners pointing to different sections that were labeled based off of starting towns. The principle is that Human Classes would start in Human towns while Elf Classes would start in Elf Towns however you could still play an Elf Class and be a Human there were some starting disadvantages. Max quickly ran towards the human sections and placed his hand on the physical stone. His mind was quickly overwhelmed with over 100 classes.



He scrolled through all the classes until he found the section for human classes and saw 22 choices of different clad soldiers. He walked up to the first one he saw which was an armor-clad man holding a short spear and a small shield. He was listening to a commander speak with many people looking exactly like him right next to him. Max watched the solider take the commands and walk away and then saw the border drop showing that he could talk to the soldier.



"Hello, young traveler are you interested in the way of the spear?" The soldier instantly asked upon seeing him walk closer. The scene of the commander speaking instantly disappeared.



"Maybe, What are you?" Max said after seeing his choices for dialogue.



"I am a Roman Legion Phalanx Solider" The man eagerly said

A dialogue screen popped up showing the class advantages and disadvantages that were

+25% Physical Defence while In a group

+10% Commanding Ability

+15% Movement Speed while in a group

-10% Movement Speed while solo

-3% drop rate



"No Thank you," Max said while walking away.

He then walked up to a man that was fighting a monster and tried walking up to him to talk to him about his class but the scene didn't change and he was almost skewered by the massive dragon that he was fighting. He then decided to wait until he was done to hear the mans pitch while he watched him fight in a bizarre manner. He seemed to be very agile but was barely wearing any armor and especially didn't have a shirt which was really weird for fighting a fire breathing dragon. He also had a free hand that he was throwing out magic spells as he was fighting. He then saw the dragon finally was slain and Max again tried to walk forward but there was a barrier showing that the scene was still not over. He saw the man take out a butchering set and a tailor bench from his magical pouch that was hidden in his pocket. Max was thoroughly interested and eagerly wanted to speak to this man. Max looked at his watch and decided to wait because this class looked extremely interesting and this is the one he would choose for sure.

Max waited and waited for about 2 hours until the scene finally collapsed. He quickly ran towards this mystery man.



"Hello, Sir I would love for you to teach me the way that you just fought please teleport me to Gri-"



"No thanks I'm really busy" The man interrupted while walking away "let's be honest what can you do for me?"



"WAIT SIR" Max eagerly yelled at the man walking away. "I'll do anything please!!!"

Max ran after the man and pulled slightly on his cloak but saw the man instantly draw a sword and put it to his throat. Max stumbled back but the man got even closer to his neck with his sword making max feel a slight tinge of pain.



"Man you remind me so much of myself, Fine I will teach you."

The class attributes came up but thoroughly shocked him

Ultimate Grinder

+ Ultimate Grinding System

+ Unlimited Job Selection



"WOW" Max instantly said upon seeing these two interesting but as he looked down his face sunk lower than hell itself.

- 100% Pain Scale

- 70% Movement speed

- 70% Attack Speed

- 70% Attack Damage

- 70% Spellcast Speed

- 70% Magic Damage

- No starting Items

- 50% Base Health

- All Attacks are Critical



"What the hell is this?" Max Instantly asked this is supposed to be a game not hell



"You asked for this kid so good luck," The man said with a smirk on his face "Name is Ashael also you said Grindor right?" The man pulled his left hand up and max was surrounded by a white light that teleported him to the town square of grindor. Max was teleported into the square in a daze but was instantly tackled to the ground while he heard a girl scream. Max was fumbled around until he was thrown in a jail cell and almost died from the little amount of damage that the guard inflicted by throwing him.



"Why the hell are you naked in the town square kid?" He saw the guard that threw him in instantly ask.



"Wait WHAT??" Max Screamed as clean clothes were thrown at him. Max instantly tried to put on his clothes and put on his pants first but then tried to slip on the shirt and his hands instantly turned hot burning the shirt into ashes.



Chestpiece Item is Not Permitted said a robotic voice inside of his head.

 

[Dies]

Spoiler: Chapter One

"Hey! Mom Me and Jason are going to meet at the gaming cafe... Is that okay with you?" Max told his mother hoping for his desired answer while grabbing money out of his dirty jean pockets.



The response came back instantly with the only answer, I mean THE ONLY answer he didn't want to hear.



"Yeah Go ahead but make sure to bring your little sister okay?" His mother said as his face went as white as a sheet.



"RUN" He quickly yelled to his friend while slamming the door behind him as he ran out the front door. But he didn't get far before the monster suddenly appeared in front of his face from nowhere.

He saw the worst thing imaginable the thing that has been haunting him for the last fourteen years.

His little sister Ruby...



"Hey, Jason..... Are you ready to hang out?" Ruby instantly says while having a face full of makeup and dressed rather nicely. She slowly moves past me and draws closer to my friend.



"Ruby... Seriously we are going to play United Online and you don't even play MMORPGs (1) and honestly, I doubt that you have even played a VRMMORPG (2)" Max Says while pushing his sister away from his reserved friend. "Plus this game is brand new and apparently 400 Million people are expected for launch"



United Online was made over 11 years by Tessa Corporations and was miles ahead of anything else that was made during the same time period. The game incorporated every single aspect of real life including a system that you could experience all of the five senses with whatever percentage of real life you could want but everything could range from 15%-100% of real life adaptability for your senses in order to make people cherish their lives and have them not make stupid choices based off of the idea that you could die over and over.



The game also has a wicked death program that if you die in the game you get death banned for one day unless you are a non-combatant class. However, with the pain that you experience, they forced all players to be 13 or older.



"Max you are probably just scared that I am going to beat you aga-" She boldly states while Max instantly covers her mouth "Don't ever talk about that again" He quickly states as he hears a burst of stifled laughter from Jason...



"I mean man just let her come with us she is obviously way better then you are" Jason blatantly stated. Max stared at him with a state of disbelief then simply started walking to the gaming cafe.



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



"Union Online do you dare to be the BEST?" The speaker blared as they got closer to the gaming cafe in which the whole entire room was packed and incredibly loud. There was a distinct line at two counters with one for picking up the microchip and one for buying the microchip in order to play.



The gang quickly got in the order line and waited for almost three hours while messing around on their phones. The quickly got to the front of the line and asked for three basic kits and filled out the waiver forms that were required for the chips and then went in the checkout line.



The room was silent in anticipation for the new game that they could play that night. The gang quickly left and ran home anticipating a wonderful night while they were still sleeping.



Max and Ruby went inside their own home as their friend Jason's mom pulled up in a brand new luxury suv while talking of course looking quite frustrated. Jason pulled away after adding a quick smirk in Max's general direction.



The gang was set up to meet in a village called Grindor when the game launched and would meet with some of their friends over the years. They all anticipated the night and inserted their microchips into their sleep goggles that the goverment issued a long time ago in anticipation for this game. They all fell asleep after taking some sleep medicine which was not recommended to do but who cares?



"Welcome to United Online!" Their dreams instantly showed as they stepped into a grand room.



__________________________________________________________________________________________________

1- MMORPG an online role-playing video game in which a very large number of people participate simultaneously.

2- VRMMORP a virtual reality version of a MMORPG

Spoiler: Chapter Two

Max stepped into the grand room and noticed how many big the room that he was standing in. The room felt massive as if he could stand here for days and never get bored with eye-catching art pieces and sculptures but he was here for a reason and couldn't mess around anymore. He noticed that there were massive banners pointing to different sections that were labeled based off of starting towns. The principle is that Human Classes would start in Human towns while Elf Classes would start in Elf Towns however you could still play an Elf Class and be a Human there were some starting disadvantages. Max quickly ran towards the human sections and placed his hand on the physical stone. His mind was quickly overwhelmed with over 100 classes.



He scrolled through all the classes until he found the section for human classes and saw 22 choices of different clad soldiers. He walked up to the first one he saw which was an armor-clad man holding a short spear and a small shield. He was listening to a commander speak with many people looking exactly like him right next to him. Max watched the solider take the commands and walk away and then saw the border drop showing that he could talk to the soldier.



"Hello, young traveler are you interested in the way of the spear?" The soldier instantly asked upon seeing him walk closer. The scene of the commander speaking instantly disappeared.



"Maybe, What are you?" Max said after seeing his choices for dialogue.



"I am a Roman Legion Phalanx Solider" The man eagerly said

A dialogue screen popped up showing the class advantages and disadvantages that were

+25% Physical Defence while In a group

+10% Commanding Ability

+15% Movement Speed while in a group

-10% Movement Speed while solo

-3% drop rate



"No Thank you," Max said while walking away.

He then walked up to a man that was fighting a monster and tried walking up to him to talk to him about his class but the scene didn't change and he was almost skewered by the massive dragon that he was fighting. He then decided to wait until he was done to hear the mans pitch while he watched him fight in a bizarre manner. He seemed to be very agile but was barely wearing any armor and especially didn't have a shirt which was really weird for fighting a fire breathing dragon. He also had a free hand that he was throwing out magic spells as he was fighting. He then saw the dragon finally was slain and Max again tried to walk forward but there was a barrier showing that the scene was still not over. He saw the man take out a butchering set and a tailor bench from his magical pouch that was hidden in his pocket. Max was thoroughly interested and eagerly wanted to speak to this man. Max looked at his watch and decided to wait because this class looked extremely interesting and this is the one he would choose for sure.

Max waited and waited for about 2 hours until the scene finally collapsed. He quickly ran towards this mystery man.



"Hello, Sir I would love for you to teach me the way that you just fought please teleport me to Gri-"



"No thanks I'm really busy" The man interrupted while walking away "let's be honest what can you do for me?"



"WAIT SIR" Max eagerly yelled at the man walking away. "I'll do anything please!!!"

Max ran after the man and pulled slightly on his cloak but saw the man instantly draw a sword and put it to his throat. Max stumbled back but the man got even closer to his neck with his sword making max feel a slight tinge of pain.



"Man you remind me so much of myself, Fine I will teach you."

The class attributes came up but thoroughly shocked him

Ultimate Grinder

+ Ultimate Grinding System

+ Unlimited Job Selection



"WOW" Max instantly said upon seeing these two interesting but as he looked down his face sunk lower than hell itself.

- 100% Pain Scale

- 70% Movement speed

- 70% Attack Speed

- 70% Attack Damage

- 70% Spellcast Speed

- 70% Magic Damage

- No starting Items

- 50% Base Health

- All Attacks are Critical



"What the hell is this?" Max Instantly asked this is supposed to be a game not hell



"You asked for this kid so good luck," The man said with a smirk on his face "Name is Ashael also you said Grindor right?" The man pulled his left hand up and max was surrounded by a white light that teleported him to the town square of grindor. Max was teleported into the square in a daze but was instantly tackled to the ground while he heard a girl scream. Max was fumbled around until he was thrown in a jail cell and almost died from the little amount of damage that the guard inflicted by throwing him.



"Why the hell are you naked in the town square kid?" He saw the guard that threw him in instantly ask.



"Wait WHAT??" Max Screamed as clean clothes were thrown at him. Max instantly tried to put on his clothes and put on his pants first but then tried to slip on the shirt and his hands instantly turned hot burning the shirt into ashes.



Chestpiece Item is Not Permitted said a robotic voice inside of his head.

I will rate it 8/10 there are quite a few grammar mistakes

 

[Clouse]

https://www.webnovel.com/book/13222...ion/Why-cant-I-choose-you-for-Class-Creation?


LINK TO BOOK FOR EASIER READING

 

[Dies]

https://www.webnovel.com/book/13222317105119605/35516128600051761/Ultimate-Grinding-Simulation/Why-cant-I-choose-you-for-Class-Creation?


LINK TO BOOK FOR EASIER READING

Max stepped into the grand room and noticed how many big the room that he was standing in.
Much not many[DOUBLEPOST=1552410232][/DOUBLEPOST]Or just remove many thats it

 

[Clouse]

Max stepped into the grand room and noticed how many big the room that he was standing in.
Much not many[DOUBLEPOST=1552410232][/DOUBLEPOST]Or just remove many thats it

Changed thanks

 

[Dies]

Changed thanks

I think English isnt your first language if it is not then that will be a 10/10

 

[Clouse]

I think English isnt your first language if it is not then that will be a 10/10

It is Lol. I'm just writing for fun though. Solid Roast 10/10

 

[Dies]

It is Lol. I'm just writing for fun though. Solid Roast 10/10

rekt

 

[itsAdam4u]

I feel like it's too short to give a proper review, however there any many grammatical mistakes within. Places for commas, periods, where sentences end off, who's speaking where and when. And I also feel like it's not smooth, meaning each sentence isn't as connected as it should be. With a better opening without going straight into Max would be better. I'd suggested possibly adding an opener like "It was an exciting raining Tuesday for Max and his friend Jason", and so on.

With better flow and openers/closers it would be much better. Also, I'd suggest using Grammarly, it's super helpful for writing. Can fix many places where commas are needed. I wish you the best of luck.

 

[Clouse]

I feel like it's too short to give a proper review, however there any many grammatical mistakes within. Places for commas, periods, where sentences end off, who's speaking where and when. And I also feel like it's not smooth, meaning each sentence isn't as connected as it should be. With a better opening without going straight into Max would be better. I'd suggested possibly adding an opener like "It was an exciting raining Tuesday for Max and his friend Jason", and so on.

With better flow and openers/closers it would be much better. Also, I'd suggest using Grammarly, it's super helpful for writing. Can fix many places where commas are needed. I wish you the best of luck.

I am using Grammarly LOL
and yeah I agree I'm going to fix the opener.

 

[DarkKnights22]

Spoiler: Chapter One

"Hey! Mom Me and Jason are going to meet at the gaming cafe... Is that okay with you?" Max told his mother hoping for his desired answer while grabbing money out of his dirty jean pockets.



The response came back instantly with the only answer, I mean THE ONLY answer he didn't want to hear.



"Yeah Go ahead but make sure to bring your little sister okay?" His mother said as his face went as white as a sheet.



"RUN" He quickly yelled to his friend while slamming the door behind him as he ran out the front door. But he didn't get far before the monster suddenly appeared in front of his face from nowhere.

He saw the worst thing imaginable the thing that has been haunting him for the last fourteen years.

His little sister Ruby...



"Hey, Jason..... Are you ready to hang out?" Ruby instantly says while having a face full of makeup and dressed rather nicely. She slowly moves past me and draws closer to my friend.



"Ruby... Seriously we are going to play United Online and you don't even play MMORPGs (1) and honestly, I doubt that you have even played a VRMMORPG (2)" Max Says while pushing his sister away from his reserved friend. "Plus this game is brand new and apparently 400 Million people are expected for launch"



United Online was made over 11 years by Tessa Corporations and was miles ahead of anything else that was made during the same time period. The game incorporated every single aspect of real life including a system that you could experience all of the five senses with whatever percentage of real life you could want but everything could range from 15%-100% of real life adaptability for your senses in order to make people cherish their lives and have them not make stupid choices based off of the idea that you could die over and over.



The game also has a wicked death program that if you die in the game you get death banned for one day unless you are a non-combatant class. However, with the pain that you experience, they forced all players to be 13 or older.



"Max you are probably just scared that I am going to beat you aga-" She boldly states while Max instantly covers her mouth "Don't ever talk about that again" He quickly states as he hears a burst of stifled laughter from Jason...



"I mean man just let her come with us she is obviously way better then you are" Jason blatantly stated. Max stared at him with a state of disbelief then simply started walking to the gaming cafe.



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



"Union Online do you dare to be the BEST?" The speaker blared as they got closer to the gaming cafe in which the whole entire room was packed and incredibly loud. There was a distinct line at two counters with one for picking up the microchip and one for buying the microchip in order to play.



The gang quickly got in the order line and waited for almost three hours while messing around on their phones. The quickly got to the front of the line and asked for three basic kits and filled out the waiver forms that were required for the chips and then went in the checkout line.



The room was silent in anticipation for the new game that they could play that night. The gang quickly left and ran home anticipating a wonderful night while they were still sleeping.



Max and Ruby went inside their own home as their friend Jason's mom pulled up in a brand new luxury suv while talking of course looking quite frustrated. Jason pulled away after adding a quick smirk in Max's general direction.



The gang was set up to meet in a village called Grindor when the game launched and would meet with some of their friends over the years. They all anticipated the night and inserted their microchips into their sleep goggles that the goverment issued a long time ago in anticipation for this game. They all fell asleep after taking some sleep medicine which was not recommended to do but who cares?



"Welcome to United Online!" Their dreams instantly showed as they stepped into a grand room.



__________________________________________________________________________________________________

1- MMORPG an online role-playing video game in which a very large number of people participate simultaneously.

2- VRMMORP a virtual reality version of a MMORPG

Spoiler: Chapter Two

Max stepped into the grand room and noticed how many big the room that he was standing in. The room felt massive as if he could stand here for days and never get bored with eye-catching art pieces and sculptures but he was here for a reason and couldn't mess around anymore. He noticed that there were massive banners pointing to different sections that were labeled based off of starting towns. The principle is that Human Classes would start in Human towns while Elf Classes would start in Elf Towns however you could still play an Elf Class and be a Human there were some starting disadvantages. Max quickly ran towards the human sections and placed his hand on the physical stone. His mind was quickly overwhelmed with over 100 classes.



He scrolled through all the classes until he found the section for human classes and saw 22 choices of different clad soldiers. He walked up to the first one he saw which was an armor-clad man holding a short spear and a small shield. He was listening to a commander speak with many people looking exactly like him right next to him. Max watched the solider take the commands and walk away and then saw the border drop showing that he could talk to the soldier.



"Hello, young traveler are you interested in the way of the spear?" The soldier instantly asked upon seeing him walk closer. The scene of the commander speaking instantly disappeared.



"Maybe, What are you?" Max said after seeing his choices for dialogue.



"I am a Roman Legion Phalanx Solider" The man eagerly said

A dialogue screen popped up showing the class advantages and disadvantages that were

+25% Physical Defence while In a group

+10% Commanding Ability

+15% Movement Speed while in a group

-10% Movement Speed while solo

-3% drop rate



"No Thank you," Max said while walking away.

He then walked up to a man that was fighting a monster and tried walking up to him to talk to him about his class but the scene didn't change and he was almost skewered by the massive dragon that he was fighting. He then decided to wait until he was done to hear the mans pitch while he watched him fight in a bizarre manner. He seemed to be very agile but was barely wearing any armor and especially didn't have a shirt which was really weird for fighting a fire breathing dragon. He also had a free hand that he was throwing out magic spells as he was fighting. He then saw the dragon finally was slain and Max again tried to walk forward but there was a barrier showing that the scene was still not over. He saw the man take out a butchering set and a tailor bench from his magical pouch that was hidden in his pocket. Max was thoroughly interested and eagerly wanted to speak to this man. Max looked at his watch and decided to wait because this class looked extremely interesting and this is the one he would choose for sure.

Max waited and waited for about 2 hours until the scene finally collapsed. He quickly ran towards this mystery man.



"Hello, Sir I would love for you to teach me the way that you just fought please teleport me to Gri-"



"No thanks I'm really busy" The man interrupted while walking away "let's be honest what can you do for me?"



"WAIT SIR" Max eagerly yelled at the man walking away. "I'll do anything please!!!"

Max ran after the man and pulled slightly on his cloak but saw the man instantly draw a sword and put it to his throat. Max stumbled back but the man got even closer to his neck with his sword making max feel a slight tinge of pain.



"Man you remind me so much of myself, Fine I will teach you."

The class attributes came up but thoroughly shocked him

Ultimate Grinder

+ Ultimate Grinding System

+ Unlimited Job Selection



"WOW" Max instantly said upon seeing these two interesting but as he looked down his face sunk lower than hell itself.

- 100% Pain Scale

- 70% Movement speed

- 70% Attack Speed

- 70% Attack Damage

- 70% Spellcast Speed

- 70% Magic Damage

- No starting Items

- 50% Base Health

- All Attacks are Critical



"What the hell is this?" Max Instantly asked this is supposed to be a game not hell



"You asked for this kid so good luck," The man said with a smirk on his face "Name is Ashael also you said Grindor right?" The man pulled his left hand up and max was surrounded by a white light that teleported him to the town square of grindor. Max was teleported into the square in a daze but was instantly tackled to the ground while he heard a girl scream. Max was fumbled around until he was thrown in a jail cell and almost died from the little amount of damage that the guard inflicted by throwing him.



"Why the hell are you naked in the town square kid?" He saw the guard that threw him in instantly ask.



"Wait WHAT??" Max Screamed as clean clothes were thrown at him. Max instantly tried to put on his clothes and put on his pants first but then tried to slip on the shirt and his hands instantly turned hot burning the shirt into ashes.



Chestpiece Item is Not Permitted said a robotic voice inside of his head.

I mean its kinda funny that he's naked lmao. For me personally, I think that there is a bit too much dialogue. I like descriptive pieces of writing which allow you to picture the image in your head. There are a few mistakes here and there, but overall its a good book. It will grasp a couple readers, but if you include a range of techniques, should get more interest

 

[Clouse]

Thanks Im writing chapter three if you are interested in it lemme know![DOUBLEPOST=1552412617][/DOUBLEPOST]DarkKnights22[DOUBLEPOST=1552414609][/DOUBLEPOST]New Chapter on the website!

 

[Eccat]

I want to read more! Its a really interesting storyline but feels like it just ended abruptly. Maybe you could add more of an ending so the story is smoother. Other then that it's a great book!

 

[Clouse]

I want to read more! Its a really interesting storyline but feels like it just ended abruptly. Maybe you could add more of an ending so the story is smoother. Other then that it's a great book!

Chapter three is out on the website.. I end it like that to create an allure for the next chapter

 

[Eccat]

Nice! Do you plan on actually publishing this? Also how many more chapters do you plan on writing?

 

[Clouse]

I plan to only write 100 and nah I think itll just stay on web novel

 

[DarkKnights22]

Thanks Im writing chapter three if you are interested in it lemme know![DOUBLEPOST=1552412617][/DOUBLEPOST]DarkKnights22[DOUBLEPOST=1552414609][/DOUBLEPOST]New Chapter on the website!

Will read soon Btw this is the first author I have ever talked to you, so you should feel honoured xD. Also, I think you should publish it as an actual book when its all finished.

 

[DeletedUser372845]

I mean there are some grammar issues, but what can I say I got dem badith gramma. But I think the plot of what I read so far seems intriguing, I suggest u get Grammarly for some help though.