Family Issues

[kag]

Anyone have any tips on what to do if your family continuously calls you a disappointment and calls you selfish when you call out their own mistakes. for an example I'm going into eleventh grade and I was picking my courses and my mom was talking about me taking AP History or world history even though its my worst subject and I barely made it through with a B- last year and I said that I'm no good at history and she said the only reason I almost failed was because of these things called DBQ's and I only started doing good because she helped me (which is false its because I asked other teachers to check and help me with it) so I told her that and she said no that the only part that was wrong was mine and then I said that my part had the fewest marks on it (errors) and then she called me selfish and that its disappointing how I can't accept help. Another example In middle school my teacher asked me for a missing assignment in front of my friends and my dad took it very personal and told me IN THE CAR WITH MY FRIENDS that when I grow up Ill be lucky if I can clean the streets, and on top of that my older sister gets all the attention she gets kudos for driving down the street or scoring a point in a tennis match while if I score a goal in a soccer match they simply clap and talk more about my sister on the way home another example my sister got a job and my parents congratulated her for the whole weekend with presents and what not that were better then my birthday presents in my opinion, my parents said nice job when I made my own business and made my first 1,000 in a week... Anyone have any tips or pointers on what to do with this Ive tried many things and cried many times alone I know many secrets about my family like how my sister isn't a virgin and not as goody tooshoos as my parents think how my dads cheating on my mom and numerous things about my mom. Help would be appreciated I might take this thread down soon. Thanks for reading this if you got this far.

I know it's late but I am back again, so once more everything was fine actually I only got yelled at sometimes me and my dog kind of isolated ourselves from the family unless need be we socialize of course I hung out with my friends got good grades (not talking about chemistry) but about 2 weeks ago I was setting the alarm for me to wake up and take out my dog and my dad walks in sees me on my phone demands me to give him the phone I paid for and I say yes, because I am living in his house. He then continues to yell at me for 2-5 minutes about how he could trust me and all that, not listening to my side of the story. The next day my sister calls us from college saying she can come down for Thanksgiving break and she did yesterday. Also yesterday I was trying to do some schoolwork and ask for tips from MrsPrime who might I add actually did give me some good tips, when I look at the clock and see its 1 AM so I head up but before I do say goodnight to everyone and then go up the stairs, so every day I make sure I have a goal of what I want to do and so today I wanted to learn about orbital diagrams more for chemistry, so I looked up orbital diagrams on my computer opened my notebook started writing and my dad comes in once again and now hes really mad, he completely ignores the fact that I am on a science website (sciencing.com) and starts yelling at me once again takes the computer I ALSO PAID FOR and goes downstairs but before he does on his way out I can hear him muttering "I can't believe I raised someone like this" and "When he grows up I hope mcdonalds sees potential in him" and leaves the room and is going to close the door from the oustide when he peaks in and says "I'm so dissapointed that you are my son, we will take about this tomorrow" (or today) so today has come around and he is at work. Just wanted to rant on the forums, thanks for listening have a good one.

I decided to add this comment so its just a mega thread.



PS Sorry for any grammar mistakes I'm not in the best mood right now.

-Hunter

 

[stephvibes]

Anyone have any tips on what to do if your family continuously calls you a disappointment and calls you selfish when you call out their own mistakes. for an example I'm going into eleventh grade and I was picking my courses and my mom was talking about me taking AP History or world history even though its my worst subject and I barely made it through with a B- last year and I said that I'm no good at history and she said the only reason I almost failed was because of these things called DBQ's and I only started doing good because she helped me (which is false its because I asked other teachers to check and help me with it) so I told her that and she said no that the only part that was wrong was mine and then I said that my part had the fewest marks on it (errors) and then she called me selfish and that its disappointing how I can't accept help. Another example In middle school my teacher asked me for a missing assignment in front of my friends and my dad took it very personal and told me IN THE CAR WITH MY FRIENDS that when I grow up Ill be lucky if I can clean the streets, and on top of that my older sister gets all the attention she gets kudos for driving down the street or scoring a point in a tennis match while if I score a goal in a soccer match they simply clap and talk more about my sister on the way home another example my sister got a job and my parents congratulated her for the whole weekend with presents and what not that were better then my birthday presents in my opinion, my parents said nice job when I made my own business and made my first 1,000 in a week... Anyone have any tips or pointers on what to do with this Ive tried many things and cried many times alone I know many secrets about my family like how my sister isn't a virgin and not as goody tooshoos as my parents think how my dads cheating on my mom and numerous things about my mom. Help would be appreciated I might take this thread down soon. Thanks for reading this if you got this far.


PS Sorry for any grammar mistakes I'm not in the best mood right now.

-Hunter

First off I hope things do get better fast and faster. Second is I don't want you to feel sad about whatever bull someone says about you. All YOU can do as a person is just try, try and try even harder to be the best you can be. Even if the family isn't going well for you, always know you can talk to someone about it . Hope all goes well
Wish you all the best,
TechSupport

PS. I have a feeling you're going to be something great, just don't fall down into your dad's footsteps in cheating.

 

[Chewy]

I'm so sad reading that. My best advice would be to live on, never give up and pursue your dreams. Even if your parents hate you, call you selfish, a disappointment... try your best to prove them wrong. Try your best not to shed anymore tears, the more tears you shed, the weaker you'll become. I hope someone that has gone through this help you out, I know my advice isn't great, but dude, please don't give up. One day you'll have the experience of you being a proud man, and your parents will feel hatred towards themselves of how they treated you in the past. They will resent their actions. Please don't give up.

 

[big.luke]

Sorry to hear that, man.

I think that the best way to look at it is not that your parents are truly disappointed in you, but that they're disappointed in the choices that they made when they were younger, and the idea of you possibly making those same decisions or doing those same things scares them, leading to them taking it out on you. I think that if they really felt the way they come off in your post, you would definitely know that you're not welcome.

High school in general is a pretty rough time in general, though I can see it especially seems like that for your situation. I can't promise you that anything will instantly make you feel better about anything, because it likely won't. But it's important to keep in mind that this, too, shall pass. Don't let anything, not your family or anything else, get to you. If you do, it'll keep on bothering you and keep holding you back. But if you can find it in yourself to push through, I'm sure you'll be pretty happy to see the man you turn out to be in just a few years.

Feel free to message me or anything whenever, I know it's not easy to go through anything alone.

Hope that helps.

 

[kag]

Update both my dad and my mom are blaming me for that history thing, and I was forced to apologies for defending myself I can't seem to get a win.

 

[Satan]

I have a similar mother who will find it hard to accept from her own son that she's wrong. Look for other people to call out your mother and use them as evidence to wake her up. You are not in the wrong, you live your life. Don't be imprisoned by your parents telling you what to do and constantly micro managing you. You can take their advice, but make your own actions and live your life.

 

[Ever]

Dude, best idea.. Leave your laptop open with this thread on in a place where you're parents may sit down or have a glance. If they read that, I'm sure they'd change and be proud

Don't spill the beans about your sister and your dad, that may make things worse.


EDIT: MAKE A NEW THREAD BUT LOCK IT SO THERES NO REPLIED SO SHE DOESNT READ THE STUFF ABOUT UR DAD AND SISTER

 

[kag]

Thanks everyone for the comments they mean a lot.

 

[kag]

ok we are back with part 2

so we just dropped my sister off at college and not even twelve hours later my parents are making me work and do all of this stuff even though I haven't slept yet keep in mind so flashback to my business they want me to make a spreadsheet which I say I don't need to because paypal already has me covered with graphs, and so I argue back but ultimately I make a spreadsheet for my parents so my mom tells me to clean my room which I do to which I think is good and to which she starts yelling at me for doing everything halfway even though I said I thought it was clean which she doesn't care about she keeps yelling at me so I'm pretty shaken after that but none the less I clean my room then I get called downstairs by my mom to fix the spreadsheet and add the fees that paypal and the site I sell on have which I say I already added them to the price and she says to make a whole new spreadsheet on shipments which I don't understand why and then my dad joins into the argument and starts telling me to not argue with my mom and I just feel cornered because I don't have my sister to calm the situation down, and to which I start working and then my mom keeps telling me to fix that and fix that in a mad tone so I already feel like I'm disappointing everyone and then she tells me "if I can't make a simple spreadsheet no one is going to want to hire me" and then my dad comes back in to assist her point in which I just start crying and I get up to get a towel in which my instead of stopping, my parents keep yelling at me but I'm trying to get my towel so I can at least see them in which my dad tells me to not walk away from my mom while she's talking so I walk back STILL CRYING and my parents continue to barrage me. I don't think its going to get better can't wait for college if I get in one I guess, any who I hope everyone elses day is going better then mine (I'm replying so people that helped me see it again)

Do what you want to do, i'm in a similar position going into year 11 this year and i know my parents want me to do what i want to do and what i enjoy the most.

Dude, best idea.. Leave your laptop open with this thread on in a place where you're parents may sit down or have a glance. If they read that, I'm sure they'd change and be proud

Don't spill the beans about your sister and your dad, that may make things worse.


EDIT: MAKE A NEW THREAD BUT LOCK IT SO THERES NO REPLIED SO SHE DOESNT READ THE STUFF ABOUT UR DAD AND SISTER

honestly, best bet would to not listen to them, and when they see you becoming successful they may change the way they think of you.

Lol. My parents sent me away with my sister on a diff country and send us money every month and when we talk is either a special event or just for the sake of annoying them. I still love them regardless that they are not really that caring or show a lot of love since they have really strict and serious personalities.

I'm so sad reading that. My best advice would be to live on, never give up and pursue your dreams. Even if your parents hate you, call you selfish, a disappointment... try your best to prove them wrong. Try your best not to shed anymore tears, the more tears you shed, the weaker you'll become. I hope someone that has gone through this help you out, I know my advice isn't great, but dude, please don't give up. One day you'll have the experience of you being a proud man, and your parents will feel hatred towards themselves of how they treated you in the past. They will resent their actions. Please don't give up.

 

[Ever]

ok we are back with part 2

so we just dropped my sister off at college and not even twelve hours later my parents are making me work and do all of this stuff even though I haven't slept yet keep in mind so flashback to my business they want me to make a spreadsheet which I say I don't need to because paypal already has me covered with graphs, and so I argue back but ultimately I make a spreadsheet for my parents so my mom tells me to clean my room which I do to which I think is good and to which she starts yelling at me for doing everything halfway even though I said I thought it was clean which she doesn't care about she keeps yelling at me so I'm pretty shaken after that but none the less I clean my room then I get called downstairs by my mom to fix the spreadsheet and add the fees that paypal and the site I sell on have which I say I already added them to the price and she says to make a whole new spreadsheet on shipments which I don't understand why and then my dad joins into the argument and starts telling me to not argue with my mom and I just feel cornered because I don't have my sister to calm the situation down, and to which I start working and then my mom keeps telling me to fix that and fix that in a mad tone so I already feel like I'm disappointing everyone and then she tells me "if I can't make a simple spreadsheet no one is going to want to hire me" and then my dad comes back in to assist her point in which I just start crying and I get up to get a towel in which my instead of stopping, my parents keep yelling at me but I'm trying to get my towel so I can at least see them in which my dad tells me to not walk away from my mom while she's talking so I walk back STILL CRYING and my parents continue to barrage me. I don't think its going to get better can't wait for college if I get in one I guess, any who I hope everyone elses day is going better then mine (I'm replying so people that helped me see it again)

What are the spreadsheets for? The stuff your selling on mcm?

 

[Chewy]

ok we are back with part 2

so we just dropped my sister off at college and not even twelve hours later my parents are making me work and do all of this stuff even though I haven't slept yet keep in mind so flashback to my business they want me to make a spreadsheet which I say I don't need to because paypal already has me covered with graphs, and so I argue back but ultimately I make a spreadsheet for my parents so my mom tells me to clean my room which I do to which I think is good and to which she starts yelling at me for doing everything halfway even though I said I thought it was clean which she doesn't care about she keeps yelling at me so I'm pretty shaken after that but none the less I clean my room then I get called downstairs by my mom to fix the spreadsheet and add the fees that paypal and the site I sell on have which I say I already added them to the price and she says to make a whole new spreadsheet on shipments which I don't understand why and then my dad joins into the argument and starts telling me to not argue with my mom and I just feel cornered because I don't have my sister to calm the situation down, and to which I start working and then my mom keeps telling me to fix that and fix that in a mad tone so I already feel like I'm disappointing everyone and then she tells me "if I can't make a simple spreadsheet no one is going to want to hire me" and then my dad comes back in to assist her point in which I just start crying and I get up to get a towel in which my instead of stopping, my parents keep yelling at me but I'm trying to get my towel so I can at least see them in which my dad tells me to not walk away from my mom while she's talking so I walk back STILL CRYING and my parents continue to barrage me. I don't think its going to get better can't wait for college if I get in one I guess, any who I hope everyone elses day is going better then mine (I'm replying so people that helped me see it again)

I'm very saddened that your situation hasn't improved. Parents should be a role model, a guide for their children, they should try their best to give unconditional love, they should love their kids equally, I don't know how else to help but tell you not to give up. Try your best to endure the suffering, I'm hoping that one day your parents can realize their mistakes in treating you like this, keep giving it your all in what you do, from school or work to mcm, it doesn't matter how hard your life is right now, it will surely get better. I wish I could come to your residence and experience your pain, so that I may understand your troubles a little better, But all in all please keep persevering, life will get better. Good luck in the future. Please keep me updated on your situation, I hope thsi helped.

 

[kag]

Still no stoping them they are getting mad at me for not spending enough time with them when they literally signed me up for 2 tutors during the weekends for classes I currently have an A in...

 

[Atmazphere]

I only read part of that, but from what I read it’s relateable. My mother is the same way. When I was young my parents split up and that’s when it started. But, this was kind of the fuel for my fire. When I turned 15 I started my own landscaping business and have made a pretty good living so far (I’m 19) and am pretty happy the way things worked out. I now live on my own, paid for my college on my own, have a brand new truck, car and have recently started a hosting company.

I’m not trying to brag or flash myself. What I’m trying to say is, don’t let this define your future. No one can decide your future but yourself. If you believe what they say - it’s going to happen. If you take what they say like a grain of salt and do your own thing, you’ll live happier. Good things don’t come overnight, remember they. It takes time to get where you want to go, you’re still only young and most young people don’t know what they wanna do in life, even some people in their thirties don’t know.

Not that I’m Einstein or Zuckerberg, but if you ever need tips or anything, feel free to shoot me a message.