I made a YouTube channel give me opinions

[Cosinal]

So I made a story time channel generally a lot like a channel called Luna.



I posted a video a week ago and It's doing pretty well

as well theres a new video thats coming out tomorrow so please let me know your opinions on it



I'm really new to youtube so if anyone has anytips please let me know. Please watch part of the video below and reply on this thread or on the video some opinions.

 

[jxhdvn]

Make jump cuts with your voice and be very specific

and that story lmao

 

[AdamEdits]

It sounds tooooo scripted

 

[DoubleEdge]

It sounds tooooo scripted

What's wrong with scripting though?

 

[Cosinal]

Make jump cuts with your voice and be very specific

and that story lmao

So better editing would help? I got that advice off of another site

It sounds tooooo scripted

It was, would it be better if I just spoke off of heart and edited around there more?

the video contains a lot of standing still, and at the beginning changing game options.
Maybe a bit more action or movement would be good

And I don't know but your voice is a bit monotonous, bit boring.
the story is funny tho xD

Ooh, maybe change your thumbnail.
make it more exciting.

What could make my voice sound better for these types of videos?