I need advice from people on the internet

[SpeedyBot]

Thanks for the comments, I know this was a while back but I forgot to comeback and thank you all.

 

[Program]

Honestly. You didn't do anything wrong. If people aren't emotionally strong enough to be on the internet. They should live under a rock. I get your mom but she's a little too controlling imo. Don't mind it. It's prob her age that has smth to do with it. If she's in the 40-50 range. She'll get over it sooner or later. My mom just got rid of that stage. Everything will be fine. Although I do act like an idiot irl and online.

 

[Scroll32]

Truthfully it depends how close of a friendship you have with these people. If you are truly close friends then its perfectly fine if its a mutual way you treat each other knowing its a joke. Though its your choice to come clean, I have found in most scenarios (assuming you don't have parents that leave you or something) when I was younger coming clean would be the best thing possible. Now I might understand why you don't want her reading your texts, but telling her that you have a very close friendship with these guys and this deep friendship has dark humor, key note on it being humor, you should be fine. The one thing that concerned me is that you hate it, what is it? Do you hate keeping it a secret, or do you hate having the persona. If its keeping it a secret just come clean as I stated earlier, but if its deeper and you hate having this dark side with dark humor and being friends with these people, that is a true struggle that you have to find to manage in yourself and only yourself. Hopes this helps.

 

[User]

Hey, I don't know if its the same with everyone but my internet persona is totally different from my real life persona. The way I act online I would never act in real life. For instance, if me and my friends are in a call and one of them calls me a "faggot" I'll recall them that, to get back at them. But in real life I would never do anything like this.

Anyways my parents don't understand that, and because of that I have to hide my internet identity from them. and recently my mom took my phone telling me she needs it to read an email from my teacher and instead of doing that she reads all my text messages with my friends,
Now I've never said anything offensive in text, but my friends have. and she read all of that. Now just because I didn't say anything bad, If my mom sees what my friend say she will think I do the same, and for the most part that is true. But only on the internet, and that doesn't excuse it, it's just different. I would never say that in real life. Anyways my normal instinct was to try and take my phone away. But of course that triggered her "mom" instincts even more. Now on discord I've said some pretty fucked up shit and every-time I remember shit I regret I just wanna die, you know? I don't mean die but I mean go back in time and slap my old self, but anyways because of the shit I did and sometimes still say I have to keep everything a secret, and that honestly hurts because when she asked to look at something of mine I have to hide it, so they don't get the wrong idea about me.

When she asked why I didn't want her reading my text I responded with "Because its still private, just because I don't do anything bad in my house doesn't mean I'm okay with living in a glass house. Its a sense of security and privacy and I don't want you getting the wrong idea about me because of something I or my friends said on the internet, the way I act on the internet is totally different from the way I act in real life. I would never do anything bad in real life, like I would on the internet."

I don't bully people, but one of my friends does, and one day he messaged me shit about him bulling people, I didn't respond. But if my mom saw my friend doing that, would she think I did the same? That's what I'm trying to hide.

It's kinda the same as a kid hiding his porn from his parents, he doesn't want to give the wrong idea out.

And another thing is my friends and I have dark humor, one day I was talking to my parents about how my friends making fun of my medical issues is okay for me, and me making fun of their weight is okay for them. They don't understand that, my dad said he did the same as a kid, but my mom turned it into a 30min lecture on why I shouldn't do that despite them being okay with it and them being my friends. And I understand that it's wrong, and I've tried stopping the dark humor, but every time I do my friends avoid me because I'm not funny anymore, so I resort do doing dark humor again.
And It's not like I can just leave and find new friends, I've know these guys for almost 5 years now, It's hard.

I hate this, I don't know what to do. Because of that incidence I already know she thinks of me differently despite me not saying anything bad in those texts. Please give me some advice, this is the only place I know to come too. What should I do?

To be quite frank, you shouldn't really care what they think of you. If you're not a dick in person, there should be no problem with you making offensive jokes or something like that with friends. Moms are overprotective, that's their job. Obviously, don't entirely ignore her, but realize that this is something that everyone deals with at one point or another. You don't have to stop the dark humor, but try explaining more in-depth to her than just "they're fine with it".