Looking for opinions on my new edit

[EclipseCinematics]

Merry Christmas all,

I'm looking for opinions on my new short film named "alive". I need people to be AS CRITICAL AS POSSIBLE as I'm looking to improve the production quality wherever possible.

Link to an unlisted video on yt:

Comments are invited in the comments section of this thread

 

[H2Ozerex]

looks pretty good!
keep going

 

[EclipseCinematics]

looks pretty good!
keep going

Thx mate. An opinions? Ways I could improve the vid

 

[VaneHD]

I can't hear the person speaking.

 

[Wolvern]

Looks sick man keep up the strong work

 

[rayzo]

Hey man! I absolutely love this video you've made. I found the subject as well as the narration incredibly interesting.
Also, you managed to keep me intrigued throughout the entire film- a feat not easily accomplished.

However, I do have four pieces of criticism that I hope you will take the time to listen to and improve upon.

• The narration is completely overpowered by the music. Your music choice is great, and I think it works incredibly well with the footage and narration. However, if I were you, I would select each individual narration part, raise the volume on the narrator, and lower the volume on the music track. I wouldn't lower the music track throughout the entire film because the volume is perfectly fine for the scenes without narration.
• In my opinion, the footage from 2:33 - 2:40 does not match the rest of the film. I've made an Imgur album with screenshots of the shots I feel are out of place. I believe the low resolution of these shots clashes with the high resolution shots and CGI used in the majority of the film. I would replace these shots with alternative higher resolution footage.
• This shot stuck out to me as an especially strange addition. The lightning is appearing out of nowhere into the middle of a clear blue sky. I would definitely consider removing the lightning or to choose a shot of horses roaming on a stormy day. As well, if you keep the lightning, I would extend it so that it starts out of the frame, just to provide a little more realism.
• Throughout the film, you use a variety of different transitions. Sometimes, you fade to black and then into the next clip. Other times, you cross-fade directly from one clip to another. Sometimes, the screen flashes white and quickly cuts to the next scene. I would strongly suggest that you keep your transitions consistent throughout the film.

Overall, I think you've done an outstanding job with this project. I believe that you are on the right path towards becoming a fantastic filmmaker. I look forward to seeing more work from you in the future.

Merry Christmas,
Ray

 

[EclipseCinematics]

Hey man! I absolutely love this video you've made. I found the subject as well as the narration incredibly interesting.
Also, you managed to keep me intrigued throughout the entire film- a feat not easily accomplished.

However, I do have four pieces of criticism that I hope you will take the time to listen to and improve upon.

• The narration is completely overpowered by the music. Your music choice is great, and I think it works incredibly well with the footage and narration. However, if I were you, I would select each individual narration part, raise the volume on the narrator, and lower the volume on the music track. I wouldn't lower the music track throughout the entire film because the volume is perfectly fine for the scenes without narration.
• In my opinion, the footage from 2:33 - 2:40 does not match the rest of the film. I've made an Imgur album with screenshots of the shots I feel are out of place. I believe the low resolution of these shots clashes with the high resolution shots and CGI used in the majority of the film. I would replace these shots with alternative higher resolution footage.
• This shot stuck out to me as an especially strange addition. The lightning is appearing out of nowhere into the middle of a clear blue sky. I would definitely consider removing the lightning or to choose a shot of horses roaming on a stormy day. As well, if you keep the lightning, I would extend it so that it starts out of the frame, just to provide a little more realism.
• Throughout the film, you use a variety of different transitions. Sometimes, you fade to black and then into the next clip. Other times, you cross-fade directly from one clip to another. Sometimes, the screen flashes white and quickly cuts to the next scene. I would strongly suggest that you keep your transitions consistent throughout the film.

Overall, I think you've done an outstanding job with this project. I believe that you are on the right path towards becoming a fantastic filmmaker. I look forward to seeing more work from you in the future.

Merry Christmas,
Ray

Hello Ray,

I thank you for such an in-depth review! I need one of these to really get the project going haha.

I'll work as best as I can to realize all the revisions.

Happy Christmas to you too xD

Philip

 

[rayzo]

I'll work as best as I can to realize all the revisions.

Keep us updated!