Hi I'm social awkward basically meaning it's hard for me to start a conversation/get friends. Yet I'm ok with it online it's just something about people that makes me nervous anyone got suggestions
Social awkwardness
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I grew up with social anxiety and it was a major factor when making friends or engaging in simple conversations. I mostly grew out of it, but still experience that feeling from time to time.
There isn't a ton I can advise you, and it may not be the same situation; but when making a decision like to start talking to someone new or asking a question, don't give yourself time to overthink it. Go with your immediate instinct, you tend to show your true and valuable personality traits when not overthinking. I mostly just 'don't care' when talking to someone new by being very exuberant and surprisingly insightful. Use any underestimation to your advantage when socializing. When you're unexpectedly pleasant to speak to, people tend to draw to you as it's an endearing trait. You'd be surprised how many people won't engage conversation with you because they feel the same or they're afraid of the feeling of being unwelcome.
There isn't a ton I can advise you, and it may not be the same situation; but when making a decision like to start talking to someone new or asking a question, don't give yourself time to overthink it. Go with your immediate instinct, you tend to show your true and valuable personality traits when not overthinking. I mostly just 'don't care' when talking to someone new by being very exuberant and surprisingly insightful. Use any underestimation to your advantage when socializing. When you're unexpectedly pleasant to speak to, people tend to draw to you as it's an endearing trait. You'd be surprised how many people won't engage conversation with you because they feel the same or they're afraid of the feeling of being unwelcome.
Another factor that might help is a different group of people. A group where you don't feel like people will judge you as much.
I still have a hard time opening up to random groups of strangers, but if I find a group of people that feel like minded, I'll have a much easier time of it.
I still have a hard time opening up to random groups of strangers, but if I find a group of people that feel like minded, I'll have a much easier time of it.
There honestly isn't anything that can really help you dude. I used to be in your same situation, I looked at tutorials, I read guides, and nothing helped, honestly it made it worse. You just have to try and be confident, put yourself in the middle of the conversation. You can't just expect to have people talk to you if you just chill with your hands in your pockets. Just include yourself in any way, keep your chest up, feel big. The more confident you make yourself feel, the more confident you actually are. It will go away, from 8th to 11th grade it's a huge difference now for me. My personality came out a lot over the few years, and I know yours will too. Just make it a big priority to try at meet at least ONE friend, because from that 1 friend, it opens up possibilities to so many other people, and gives you so much more interaction. Rather than just hanging out with people in a crowded school, you could be hanging out with just a few people in a house, and it builds up from there.
Here's some good advice I once heard and it's completely true. Don't be afraid to go up to anyone or talk to anyone cause here's how reality works. You'll talk to someone or give a speech and yes for the first 3 seconds or so people are actually listening and paying attention to you, but after those 3 seconds they're going back to worrying about themselves. If you notice your behavior when you have people speak to you, you'll also somewhat realize how quick your mind goes from what they're talking about to thinking about yourself again. It's quite crazy to think about, but it makes sense. People are always worrying about themselves. It's human nature. I used to be really socially awkward, shy, and quiet. Now I can talk to people pretty easily, but it's a different story when it's a girl I find attractive, so I'm still working on that part.
TL;DR --> For 3 seconds people care what you say and pay attention, then they're back to thinking about themselves.
TL;DR --> For 3 seconds people care what you say and pay attention, then they're back to thinking about themselves.
For almost the entirety of grade school I was introverted, shy, I generally preferred not to talk to people and when I was required to I was nervous and afraid. A lot of this was rooted to the fact that I was pushed around a lot in my earlier school years and that kind of shook me up and made me want to not talk to anybody in fear I would get picked on. You know, today things have definitely changed, but there are still moment where I prefer being a little distant; that's just who I am.
A lot of the previous replies offer a lot of what I'm about to say so I won't be much help, but hopefully my advice means something. One thing that really helped me get more comfortable with talking to people and making friends was finding people that had sort of the same problems, and sort of finding that one interest that we both share. I think that when people are themselves and they're talking about the things they like, they become more confident and vocal. For example, I remember joining a club because the club revolved around something I liked and the people who were part of it like, and sure enough I would overhear something I was super into, and I was able to break free of my shyness and actually start talking about it.
There's always going to be that someone who you just find yourself comfortable to talk to, whether it be their interests or their personality. I really recommend joining a club that is based off something you like; I didn't do that until my senior year, and when I finally got myself to do it, I liked it - a lot of the people there were very accepting, and even though they could tell I wasn't the biggest talker based on the way I spoke, they were really nice to me.
I'm sure there's some good people around you that you can talk to. Like I said, if you hear someone talking about something that you love - say something! They love it too, so they're likely going to be interested in what you have to say.
Hope that helps!
A lot of the previous replies offer a lot of what I'm about to say so I won't be much help, but hopefully my advice means something. One thing that really helped me get more comfortable with talking to people and making friends was finding people that had sort of the same problems, and sort of finding that one interest that we both share. I think that when people are themselves and they're talking about the things they like, they become more confident and vocal. For example, I remember joining a club because the club revolved around something I liked and the people who were part of it like, and sure enough I would overhear something I was super into, and I was able to break free of my shyness and actually start talking about it.
There's always going to be that someone who you just find yourself comfortable to talk to, whether it be their interests or their personality. I really recommend joining a club that is based off something you like; I didn't do that until my senior year, and when I finally got myself to do it, I liked it - a lot of the people there were very accepting, and even though they could tell I wasn't the biggest talker based on the way I spoke, they were really nice to me.
I'm sure there's some good people around you that you can talk to. Like I said, if you hear someone talking about something that you love - say something! They love it too, so they're likely going to be interested in what you have to say.
Hope that helps!
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