I. Introduction
Howdy, everyone! Due to covid-19 and the ongoing lockdowns all around the globe, I decided that I would start some kind of 'blog' on mc-market that aims towards helping students, starting entrepreneurs, and generally people to improve their (work) life with simple but significant steps. If the feedback for these articles is positive and there's enough demand for more I will try to publish one article per week.
I will try to keep the information in these articles as plain and simple as possible, I will also write a short summary at the end of every article for those who want to have the information summed up rather than having to read through the article.
II. Communication is the key to success
Ever heard of this quote? No? Well, you should have, because it contains a very valuable lesson. Without effective communication, we are lost. No matter how introverted we might be, at some point, we will have to talk to others, whether it's in the grocery store, the barbershop, or in school, we have to communicate in order to get through our everyday life. It is the key to transmitting information between us and is a crucial tool that differentiates us from animals - we have clear, set languages and can express ourselves visually and audiovisually.
But this also brings its issues, information can be misunderstood, which can cause major issues such as confrontations or bad impressions among our co-workers. The way we talk to each other also represents our personality and how others will see us as human beings. Someone who never talks more than necessary and always gives quick, punctual answers might seem unfriendly although the person might just be trying to help without unnecessary information. Words can also influence others to do what you want, words can be used to defuse a confrontation, or simply to make a good first impression on a customer.
In fact, communication is the key to success. Many successful businessmen and historic persons such as John D. Rockefeller, Abraham Lincoln, or Andrew Carnegie were incredibly skillful communicators. But what made these people so successful at what they were doing? The answer is not that they were simply entrepreneurial geniuses, but they had a natural talent for communicating with others.
III. How to influence people
This chapter is all about influence, no matter how you use it, it surely is a powerful tool! Here are the most important rules for influencing others and communicating at peak performance.
Part II: Controversial psychological effects that you can take advantage of to control your opponents and gain superiority.
V. Denouement
Thank you for reading through my fifth article! I know this article might’ve been a little darker than my previous ones, it’s also the longest article I have published yet, but I still believe that the information in this article is incredibly useful in a variety of situations. Either make use of these tricks or make sure that they are not being used against you.
Enjoy your weekend and stay healthy,
Zero
Howdy, everyone! Due to covid-19 and the ongoing lockdowns all around the globe, I decided that I would start some kind of 'blog' on mc-market that aims towards helping students, starting entrepreneurs, and generally people to improve their (work) life with simple but significant steps. If the feedback for these articles is positive and there's enough demand for more I will try to publish one article per week.
I will try to keep the information in these articles as plain and simple as possible, I will also write a short summary at the end of every article for those who want to have the information summed up rather than having to read through the article.
II. Communication is the key to success
Ever heard of this quote? No? Well, you should have, because it contains a very valuable lesson. Without effective communication, we are lost. No matter how introverted we might be, at some point, we will have to talk to others, whether it's in the grocery store, the barbershop, or in school, we have to communicate in order to get through our everyday life. It is the key to transmitting information between us and is a crucial tool that differentiates us from animals - we have clear, set languages and can express ourselves visually and audiovisually.
But this also brings its issues, information can be misunderstood, which can cause major issues such as confrontations or bad impressions among our co-workers. The way we talk to each other also represents our personality and how others will see us as human beings. Someone who never talks more than necessary and always gives quick, punctual answers might seem unfriendly although the person might just be trying to help without unnecessary information. Words can also influence others to do what you want, words can be used to defuse a confrontation, or simply to make a good first impression on a customer.
In fact, communication is the key to success. Many successful businessmen and historic persons such as John D. Rockefeller, Abraham Lincoln, or Andrew Carnegie were incredibly skillful communicators. But what made these people so successful at what they were doing? The answer is not that they were simply entrepreneurial geniuses, but they had a natural talent for communicating with others.
III. How to influence people
This chapter is all about influence, no matter how you use it, it surely is a powerful tool! Here are the most important rules for influencing others and communicating at peak performance.
#1 Talk in terms of others' interests - Sounds simple, right? Well, it actually isn't and requires a handful of empathy and a sense for people. But what does talking in terms of others' interests mean? It means that you have to think like your opponent, how would you feel, what would you do, and how would you react if you were in a similar situation? This rule is one of the keys to success. Let's go through a simple example:
You are running a store that offers paid subscriptions for a service, customers are billed each month if they don't pay they will receive a letter with a warning and a fee for the late payment - a typical procedure. You're sitting in front of the cashier in your store when an upset customer storms in and starts swearing due to him receiving the letter asking him to pay his dues including a late fee. What would you do?
You're likely going to say 'I'll defend myself, he agreed to my ToS, I'm in the right. Ever heard of mouth-to-mouth advertising? This also works in negative ways, which means a few negative reviews can decrease your income significantly.
Your best bet in such a case is to remain calm and listen to your customer. There's a reason why he's upset, you don't want to pour oil in the flame by accusing him of being unpunctual. After listening carefully respond with respect. Tell him that it is likely a mistake on your end and that you are very sorry for the inconvenience, tell him that he's a highly valued customer and that he won't have to pay the late fee and can just pay his bills in the next month. You might not believe it, but this works, it actually works. And the best thing is, you are not even losing money, you are showing your customers that you care about them, that you emphasize with them, and that you understand how they feel - this works wonders!
And even if you agree with what I just said, you surely do agree that you, as a customer, want to be treated like a king, right? Think like your opponent and talk in his/her terms of interest, it will make your life a lot easier.
#2 Saying less is more - this rule is just as important as the first one. Stop putting yourself in the middle of each conversation by talking a lot more than others, it will make you look ignorant and narcissistic. Say less, and when you say something make sure it's of quality. Listen carefully when others are talking and show genuine interest in what they are telling you. This will make it seem like you truly care about what they tell you! This is one of the main reasons why we find people sympathetic when we can talk about everything we desire and they just listen without showing any signs of boredom we can keep going forever! Sometimes all someone needs is a patient listener.
So keep in mind: Saying less is more. Listen carefully, show genuine interest and make sure not to put yourself in the middle of every conversation.
#3 Make your opponent feel superior - one of my favorite quotes is 'Never outshine the master', and it is incredibly true. No one likes feeling dumb, especially not the person who believes that they're superior, the last thing they'll want to hear is that you know it better.
Always make yourself look like a smaller fish, although you aren't. If you want to brag about something, keep it in, don't make your opponent look like a fool, give them the feeling of superiority that they desire until your results outshine them by a myriad.
#4 Be respectful at all times - don't make jokes about others at their cost. Nobody wants to look like a fool in front of others. Stop exposing people, it will make you look like a jerk and can seriously fuck up the way others look at you.
#5 Never criticize, instead, show sincere appreciation - believe it or not, there's no such thing as 'good criticism'. Even when we ask for feedback, our inner self doesn't want to hear what we did wrong, we want to hear compliments. The truth is, criticism doesn't make us more productive, effective, or perfect. The opposite happens, we actually lose motivation! Now guess what happens when we show sincere appreciation for the work and actions of others? Their productivity increases, they feel appreciated!
One of our most important and natural desires is the desire to be accepted and valued. This desire reaches back to thousands of years ago and was created by nature to make us survive. We humans aren't dangerous by ourselves compared to other wild animals. We don't have claws, sharp teeth, or other natural weapons - we survived by living in groups, settlements, social groups. To feel associated we need respect, tolerance, and - guess what? - appreciation! No matter what we do, we want to feel pride and receive positive feedback from others.
Not without reason did Abraham Lincoln write Major General Meade a letter after the General acted against his will in the battle of Gettysburg and failed miserably. Although the General made a severe mistake that, if not happened, would have ended the civil war immediately. The letter expressed Abraham Lincoln's unmeasurable disappointment in General Meade and the consequences his loss brought with it.
Guess how the General reacted? He didn't - because he never received the letter. The letter was found after Lincoln's death, he never sent it. Abraham Lincoln was known as a man of charisma and an incredible communicator, he never sent the letter, likely because he remembered that criticism usually only causes harsh feelings and often self-defense of the criticized individual.
#6 Avoid arguments - the easiest rule you may ever hear. Avoid arguments. Not more, not less. Just avoid them. Arguments tend to become a way to unload strong emotions, we say things we later regret and most people have too much pride to apologize afterward. While arguments are great to exchange honest thoughts and feelings, you still want to avoid them at work or in unnecessary situations.
Chances are high that you will say something that will have harsh consequences for you that you can never reverse, it will also leave a bad impression. Don't let it come to an argument, admit that you are wrong, make your opponent calm down, but avoid an argument at all costs.
#7 Smile and be friendly - while this sounds like something your mom told you when you were young it's still a rule with tremendous results. Did you know that you only have 27 seconds to make a good impression? Each second counts, smile, be friendly, warm, and charismatic. Show confidence, but not too much, otherwise, you'll seem arrogant. What sounds better as a reply: Sup? or Hello <name>, how are you? Thank you for reaching out to us, how can we help you today? chances are high that you'd prefer the second answer, it shows that you care, that you are friendly, and are taking your time to write a welcoming answer.
#8 Make your opponent say 'yes' - another psychological trick is to make your opponent say 'yes'. Sounds stupid, but it isn't. If we say 'yes' to something once we're more than twice as likely to say 'yes' again. The word 'yes' signalizes agreement and acceptance, it also signalizes positivity which makes us tend to say it a second time.
It's called the foot-in-the-door strategy. Remember when you were a little kid and asked your mom whether you can get candy? If you were just a little bit like me you would ask for a second one right after receiving the first one, and you'd get it. This principle can actually be found in many aspects of our life, salesman also use this strategy to make us spend more money than we actually intended to. Once they presented us their offer, for example, a phone contract, and you agreed to the terms, they will likely show you additional features that you can obtain for a little additional fee - guess what, we often say yes.
#9 Make the other person feel like the idea is theirs - I know it sounds a little complicated, but the concept is surprisingly easy to master. If you want to make someone else to do something that would be in your favor, make them think like it is their idea.
This can be achieved by directing a conversation in a specific direction that will lead to your opponent coming to the very conclusion you want them to draw. They will feel like what you want is a great idea since they believe it's theirs. A great tool to get your will without having to convince someone of something, by making others think it's their idea they will get into it with a lot more enthusiasm and a more positive feeling than if someone else would've suggested it to them directly.
#10 Admit mistakes without defending yourself - while you might think that it seems weak to admit a mistake the very opposite happens. It makes you look smart, humble, and charismatic. Admitting a mistake is a sign of great superiority. You're standing above your mistakes, you see and acknowledge them without trying to defend yourself.
It also lets others feel closer to you. Everyone makes mistakes, openly admitting them makes others relate to you which will bring you a bunch of positive side effects like trust, respect, and a higher social status in a group.
You are running a store that offers paid subscriptions for a service, customers are billed each month if they don't pay they will receive a letter with a warning and a fee for the late payment - a typical procedure. You're sitting in front of the cashier in your store when an upset customer storms in and starts swearing due to him receiving the letter asking him to pay his dues including a late fee. What would you do?
You're likely going to say 'I'll defend myself, he agreed to my ToS, I'm in the right. Ever heard of mouth-to-mouth advertising? This also works in negative ways, which means a few negative reviews can decrease your income significantly.
Your best bet in such a case is to remain calm and listen to your customer. There's a reason why he's upset, you don't want to pour oil in the flame by accusing him of being unpunctual. After listening carefully respond with respect. Tell him that it is likely a mistake on your end and that you are very sorry for the inconvenience, tell him that he's a highly valued customer and that he won't have to pay the late fee and can just pay his bills in the next month. You might not believe it, but this works, it actually works. And the best thing is, you are not even losing money, you are showing your customers that you care about them, that you emphasize with them, and that you understand how they feel - this works wonders!
And even if you agree with what I just said, you surely do agree that you, as a customer, want to be treated like a king, right? Think like your opponent and talk in his/her terms of interest, it will make your life a lot easier.
#2 Saying less is more - this rule is just as important as the first one. Stop putting yourself in the middle of each conversation by talking a lot more than others, it will make you look ignorant and narcissistic. Say less, and when you say something make sure it's of quality. Listen carefully when others are talking and show genuine interest in what they are telling you. This will make it seem like you truly care about what they tell you! This is one of the main reasons why we find people sympathetic when we can talk about everything we desire and they just listen without showing any signs of boredom we can keep going forever! Sometimes all someone needs is a patient listener.
So keep in mind: Saying less is more. Listen carefully, show genuine interest and make sure not to put yourself in the middle of every conversation.
#3 Make your opponent feel superior - one of my favorite quotes is 'Never outshine the master', and it is incredibly true. No one likes feeling dumb, especially not the person who believes that they're superior, the last thing they'll want to hear is that you know it better.
Always make yourself look like a smaller fish, although you aren't. If you want to brag about something, keep it in, don't make your opponent look like a fool, give them the feeling of superiority that they desire until your results outshine them by a myriad.
#4 Be respectful at all times - don't make jokes about others at their cost. Nobody wants to look like a fool in front of others. Stop exposing people, it will make you look like a jerk and can seriously fuck up the way others look at you.
#5 Never criticize, instead, show sincere appreciation - believe it or not, there's no such thing as 'good criticism'. Even when we ask for feedback, our inner self doesn't want to hear what we did wrong, we want to hear compliments. The truth is, criticism doesn't make us more productive, effective, or perfect. The opposite happens, we actually lose motivation! Now guess what happens when we show sincere appreciation for the work and actions of others? Their productivity increases, they feel appreciated!
One of our most important and natural desires is the desire to be accepted and valued. This desire reaches back to thousands of years ago and was created by nature to make us survive. We humans aren't dangerous by ourselves compared to other wild animals. We don't have claws, sharp teeth, or other natural weapons - we survived by living in groups, settlements, social groups. To feel associated we need respect, tolerance, and - guess what? - appreciation! No matter what we do, we want to feel pride and receive positive feedback from others.
Not without reason did Abraham Lincoln write Major General Meade a letter after the General acted against his will in the battle of Gettysburg and failed miserably. Although the General made a severe mistake that, if not happened, would have ended the civil war immediately. The letter expressed Abraham Lincoln's unmeasurable disappointment in General Meade and the consequences his loss brought with it.
Guess how the General reacted? He didn't - because he never received the letter. The letter was found after Lincoln's death, he never sent it. Abraham Lincoln was known as a man of charisma and an incredible communicator, he never sent the letter, likely because he remembered that criticism usually only causes harsh feelings and often self-defense of the criticized individual.
#6 Avoid arguments - the easiest rule you may ever hear. Avoid arguments. Not more, not less. Just avoid them. Arguments tend to become a way to unload strong emotions, we say things we later regret and most people have too much pride to apologize afterward. While arguments are great to exchange honest thoughts and feelings, you still want to avoid them at work or in unnecessary situations.
Chances are high that you will say something that will have harsh consequences for you that you can never reverse, it will also leave a bad impression. Don't let it come to an argument, admit that you are wrong, make your opponent calm down, but avoid an argument at all costs.
#7 Smile and be friendly - while this sounds like something your mom told you when you were young it's still a rule with tremendous results. Did you know that you only have 27 seconds to make a good impression? Each second counts, smile, be friendly, warm, and charismatic. Show confidence, but not too much, otherwise, you'll seem arrogant. What sounds better as a reply: Sup? or Hello <name>, how are you? Thank you for reaching out to us, how can we help you today? chances are high that you'd prefer the second answer, it shows that you care, that you are friendly, and are taking your time to write a welcoming answer.
#8 Make your opponent say 'yes' - another psychological trick is to make your opponent say 'yes'. Sounds stupid, but it isn't. If we say 'yes' to something once we're more than twice as likely to say 'yes' again. The word 'yes' signalizes agreement and acceptance, it also signalizes positivity which makes us tend to say it a second time.
It's called the foot-in-the-door strategy. Remember when you were a little kid and asked your mom whether you can get candy? If you were just a little bit like me you would ask for a second one right after receiving the first one, and you'd get it. This principle can actually be found in many aspects of our life, salesman also use this strategy to make us spend more money than we actually intended to. Once they presented us their offer, for example, a phone contract, and you agreed to the terms, they will likely show you additional features that you can obtain for a little additional fee - guess what, we often say yes.
#9 Make the other person feel like the idea is theirs - I know it sounds a little complicated, but the concept is surprisingly easy to master. If you want to make someone else to do something that would be in your favor, make them think like it is their idea.
This can be achieved by directing a conversation in a specific direction that will lead to your opponent coming to the very conclusion you want them to draw. They will feel like what you want is a great idea since they believe it's theirs. A great tool to get your will without having to convince someone of something, by making others think it's their idea they will get into it with a lot more enthusiasm and a more positive feeling than if someone else would've suggested it to them directly.
#10 Admit mistakes without defending yourself - while you might think that it seems weak to admit a mistake the very opposite happens. It makes you look smart, humble, and charismatic. Admitting a mistake is a sign of great superiority. You're standing above your mistakes, you see and acknowledge them without trying to defend yourself.
It also lets others feel closer to you. Everyone makes mistakes, openly admitting them makes others relate to you which will bring you a bunch of positive side effects like trust, respect, and a higher social status in a group.
Part II: Controversial psychological effects that you can take advantage of to control your opponents and gain superiority.
#11 Control what they can't - this method comes from the book 'The 48 Laws of Power' by Robert Greene. The book is banned in US Prisons - for good reason. The 33th law of power states that every man has a thumbscrew, and it's your task to find them. Everyone has uncontrollable needs, desires, or insecurities. Find them and make use of it. If you know your enemy well enough you can turn him into a tool for your personal desires and needs. Use insecurities to your advantage.
#12 Always be first or last - our brain tends to remember the things that come first and last the most. The information in the middle becomes blurry and tends to be forgotten. Be the first to come and the last to leave. It will result in a sense of importance and superiority. Make the biggest impact in people's minds by impressing them.
#13 You give the cards, the others play with them - You have the cards, you have full control over the game, you're not a player - you're the goddamn god of the game. Don't allow others to control you, for example by leaving you a choice. You offer the choices, with or without you, to make them feel like you are a valuable piece of the puzzle that can't go missing. Be sure that others depend on you, you can take advantage of it.
Practical example: When negotiating a price you can often use the method of the Shrinking Options to get a better deal for yourself. When someone is pushed to sell something but is having trouble with finding a buyer you can take advantage of it. Show interest, but not too much, make them feel insecure like you are the only chance to sell or buy. Once they feel the desperate need to buy or get rid of something you can grab the chance to get the best out of it for yourself.
#14 Use emotions to your advantage - when someone is eagerly upset about something, make sure not to respond with aggression. Remain calm and concentrated, your enemy is more likely to make mistakes that you can use to your advantage when they're emotionally charged. Being calm in confrontational situations also makes you seem superior over your enemy due to you being visibly unimpressed by their anger.
#15 Don't trust too easily - another quote: 'It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.' Don't trust anyone, your trust will be abused and used to the advantage of others. The worst kind of betrayal is a betrayal that comes from a person you genuinely used to trust.
Always keep an eye on everything, know your surroundings, be in total control of your emotions and nobody will be able to hurt you. This requires a great amount of balance since you can't distrust everyone, make sure to be selective with who's your friend and who's not.
#12 Always be first or last - our brain tends to remember the things that come first and last the most. The information in the middle becomes blurry and tends to be forgotten. Be the first to come and the last to leave. It will result in a sense of importance and superiority. Make the biggest impact in people's minds by impressing them.
#13 You give the cards, the others play with them - You have the cards, you have full control over the game, you're not a player - you're the goddamn god of the game. Don't allow others to control you, for example by leaving you a choice. You offer the choices, with or without you, to make them feel like you are a valuable piece of the puzzle that can't go missing. Be sure that others depend on you, you can take advantage of it.
Practical example: When negotiating a price you can often use the method of the Shrinking Options to get a better deal for yourself. When someone is pushed to sell something but is having trouble with finding a buyer you can take advantage of it. Show interest, but not too much, make them feel insecure like you are the only chance to sell or buy. Once they feel the desperate need to buy or get rid of something you can grab the chance to get the best out of it for yourself.
#14 Use emotions to your advantage - when someone is eagerly upset about something, make sure not to respond with aggression. Remain calm and concentrated, your enemy is more likely to make mistakes that you can use to your advantage when they're emotionally charged. Being calm in confrontational situations also makes you seem superior over your enemy due to you being visibly unimpressed by their anger.
#15 Don't trust too easily - another quote: 'It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.' Don't trust anyone, your trust will be abused and used to the advantage of others. The worst kind of betrayal is a betrayal that comes from a person you genuinely used to trust.
Always keep an eye on everything, know your surroundings, be in total control of your emotions and nobody will be able to hurt you. This requires a great amount of balance since you can't distrust everyone, make sure to be selective with who's your friend and who's not.
V. Denouement
Thank you for reading through my fifth article! I know this article might’ve been a little darker than my previous ones, it’s also the longest article I have published yet, but I still believe that the information in this article is incredibly useful in a variety of situations. Either make use of these tricks or make sure that they are not being used against you.
Enjoy your weekend and stay healthy,
Zero
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